It has been a while since I have written. Life has been blessedly uneventful. I am feeling really well and getting back to normal or what I call my new normal. I wish I could say that I could completely wash out my memories of last year and my cancer treatment, but that is not possible.I hope and pray as time goes on, those memories will fade. I am reminded of the new me every day I see my super short silver hair but I am getting used to it....slowly.
I took a post-cancer seminar on "survivorship" at Alta Bates Summit Hospital and learned that the post-treatment period can be quite challenging. During treatment one is engaged in a battle like a soldier. After treatment there can be a let down. As much as one strives to have a positive attitude, emotions and feelings and anxieties will surface and fatigue and depression are common. Thankfully I am doing great. Jeff keeps saying to me YOUR"E BACK!!" I did not know it at the time, but writing my blog was extremely important as it gave me a vehicle to express my feelings during my whole ordeal. This has made my recovery easier.
Because of my Ashkenazic background, (Jews whose family is from central or Eastern Europe), there is a concern about a possible genetic connection to breast cancer. I decided to have the testing for the BCRA genes. My sister went with me to meet with the genetics counselor at 1600 Divisadero and to take notes. Linda concluded it would be good for her to be tested as well. The genetics counselor, a lovely young woman, took a detailed family history of illnesses in our family going back to grandparents, aunts and uncles and charted the results. Sadly my father's parents, having been killed during the holocaust, were a blank slate in terms of any genetic history. Listening to what we could piece together about our family, the genetics counselor was fairly confident that we did not have the BCRA gene as there is thankfully not much cancer in our family history.
My sister and I left her office and headed downstairs to the lab for a blood test. We would get the results in about a month. The test checked 26 genes in all which predicted whether there was a possibility of developing certain other cancers or diseases. I was a bit apprehensive about doing this test but felt it was important.
As we left the building, we kept cracking each other up by coming up with a list of funny family traits we were sure we inherited like shopping. It was a great way to relieve tension and we laughed until we practically cried.
When our appointment came to get the results, we went together. I was a little nervous but not crazy with worry. I had an instinctive feeling that we did not carry the BCRA genetic markers for cancer. The genetics counselor greeted us with a big smile and told us right away that we did not carry those genes . I felt a huge sigh of relief because I was afraid for my daughters. The counselor told me that my cancer was "spontaneous" as 90% of all cancers are. Who knows what started those deviant cells growing?
I have been asked to participate in a study for UCSF. Because UCSF is a teaching hospital, there are many studies which one might be asked to join. This particular study is about one of the common side effects of chemotherapy drugs, neuropathy, which is tingling or numbness of fingers, hands and feet. Thankfully I was spared this side effect and never got any numbness. The nurse who called me about particpating was very interested in me because they are trying to find out why some people don't get neuropathy. I have to fill out an extensive survey and go to UCSF on Parnassus for several hours of tests of such things as my balance and reflexes. And yes, they want my blood...too!
I'm very happy to be back exercising. The favorite thing I do is my Zumba for seniors class on Friday mornings at the Oakland Senior Center. The teacher is terrific and a great dancer. I love moving to salsa music and have so much fun that I don't think of it as exercise. In the front of the class there is a woman who comes every week whom I can't help noticing. She can't keep the beat at all, doesn't follow the teacher and somehow makes up her own steps. She has a great time and it doesn't bother her in the least that she can't dance a lick. I think that's a good way to live...do your own thing, enjoy life and don't worry whether you are in step.
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